*Reader advisory: my language might get a little salty.*

Hey, listen up! Good people, USE YOUR NOGGINS. Reports are streaming in of the shops being overrun by panic buyers. If the virus was a pantomime monster, it would be chortling and rubbing its hands in glee. STAY HOME. You are not lemmings. If you're middle-class, you’re not going to starve in three weeks. And remember that the lockdown will permit you to leave the house to get food and medical supplies. The supermarkets will stay open. The food will be there. GO HOME NOW. Really. Don’t be dicks.

The real worry right now is the people who live hand-to-mouth, for whom three weeks without food is impossible. There were a few things missing from the President's speech last night, but one of the most pressing was the silence on how to support the absolutely indigent. Mention was made of shelter for the homeless, but: FOOD. For the beggars, the homeless, those working in the "informal economy" (car guards and the like), the men by the side of the road, the families so poor that their main meal of the day comes from a soup kitchen, children reliant on their school or creche to provide their one hot meal a day. These are the people who need urgent intervention. How, for example, is the Service Dining Room in Cape Town's Canterbury Street going to work during lockdown? It literally keeps an incredibly vulnerable population from starving, but how is social distancing going to be managed in their queues? Their website says they supply food parcels: how can we help? Urgent steps need to be taken at local municipality level everywhere: food banks? mobile kitchens?

It's easy to despair about this, but we have an incredibly robust and innovative NPO/NGO sector in this country (the vital necessity of govt-NPO partnerships was something else we didn’t hear about last night). Trust me, NPOs are scrambling to address this problem right now. HELP THEM. Give them the money you won't be spending on eating out for the next month. Put enquiries on your social media pages asking what feeding schemes are in place in your immediate neighbourhood, and how you can assist them. NPO workers and carers who will feed the truly needy during the next three weeks should be considered essential workers, surely? If you don’t know where to donate your dollah, remember there’s always the Gift of the Givers.

I’m worried that we will see a rise of xenophobia within communities that are confined, frightened and hungry. Government needs to be proactive here, likewise community leaders. NO inflammatory or reckless statements.

All of you with domestic workers, gardeners, etc: these are the two days in which to put the cash for the next month in their hands. DO IT. If your income has dried up overnight and you genuinely can’t afford to do so (but really, truly, think about this), then give them whatever you can. Some cash, food, clothing — just don’t send them home to an unimaginably bleak three weeks empty-handed. And if you do have money for the next month, but want to sit on it because you don’t know what the future holds: pay your staff instead. The banks, civil society and businesses look like they’re going to put their hands up — we will never forgive them if they don’t — assume that if you have enough for the next few weeks, you should put your hand in your pocket for those who as of Friday will have NOTHING.

Re debt: I once read a wonderful piece of advice on how to prioritise debt payments — pay the people with faces. If you owe money to freelancers, handypersons, household staff, etc., settle those debts TODAY. Frankly, the banks can bloody well wait. Freelancers and independent contractors, chase all your suppliers NOW (that’s what I’ll be doing as soon as I post this) and make sure you get paid before Friday.

Next up: I know it's a big commitment, and you have very little time to think about it, but if EVER there was a time to adopt or foster a shelter or rescue animal, this is it. If you have the space, the equipment (leads and litter trays, etc) and most of all, the means to feed and provide medical care for a four-leggit, and want to be rewarded with endless love, companionship and entertainment, do it in the next two days. I've noticed a lot of my social media contacts doing this, especially those with children at home. Something exciting and comforting for them to enjoy: no small things right now. You'll also be taking a load off overworked staff at overwhelmed organisations.

On this topic: unless you absolutely cannot manage to keep feeding your pets (and sadly, this will be true in a few cases), now is ABSOLUTELY not the time to surrender or abandon your animals. Sheesh. I know last week Spar put out that utterly reckless piece of fuckwittery masquerading as a poster, which suggested that animals were a risk factor for catching the virus. (They swiftly retracted it and apologised profusely, and I bloody well hope they're giving six months of pet-food to animal shelters around the country to make amends.) If you were one of those who dumped your faithful companion because of this misinformation, GO GET YOUR PET BACK NOW. You CANNOT catch the virus from an animal. *very sweary noises*

Which brings me to the next point: Stop. Spreading. Fake. News. The Spar blunder shows that even supposedly trustworthy sources can get things horribly wrong. It's now a criminal offence to generate AND spread false information, but it's also the last thing we need in pandemic mode. For all those muttering about the media and politicians and how we can't trust them: hurray, we have independent fact-checking NPOs and organisations all over the world. My go-tos are Snopes and Africa Check — the latter has a one-stop shop for all coronavirus info that’s constantly updated. Do not, repeat, do not, pass on any tidbit until you have run it past these sites. AND the NCID, AND the WHO (which has excellent country-specific links) for good measure. Even Wikipedia, which is working flat out to keep reliable info in the public domain, is better than your second cousin on Twitter and Random Karen on Facebook. Call out your friends who are spreading fake news on social media. Tell them to put a sock in it, and if they persist, report them. It’s not “free speech”; it’s actively dangerous right now. (AFRIFORUM, I AM LOOKING AT YOU.)

More soon: a lot needs to happen (setting up systems for online working, challenging banks, businesses and cellphone operators to do the right thing — we have a glorious opportunity to nudge and if necessary shame mega corporations into stepping up), but that can wait until we’re all safe at home. Hang in there! Yesterday I wrote that we need to move a mountain using hand-shovels: but if anyone can do it, we can. We’re a nation of (mostly) incredible can-do people, so pick up that shovel and get stuck in.

And here is a picture of my three-leggit rescue cat to soothe your shredded nerves. HE thinks lockdown is a great idea.

Blissed-out Boychik.