Loadshedding survival kit that won’t break the bank: cooler bag, solar lantern, thermoses, hot bag, fire extinguisher, small torch, candles, matches.

The last few days have been frantic, as I’ve tried to meet deadlines, especially for international clients, while suffering the national fate of mugging by Eishkom. In the midst of this came a call from my writer friend Ted Botha: did I have advice on how to cope, based on my tendency to tell all and sundry how to save water? Now Ted is a mensch of note and very high in my personal pantheon because HE FOSTERS KITTENS. So I wrote him a piece for a travel site, which is now the basis for this post (with permission).

How to save electricity and how to cope with load-shedding are actually two very different enterprises, but right now South Africans find themselves thinking hard about the first while trying to manage the second.

First, take an absolutely volcanic rage-y rant about the powers that be that got us into this mess as given. I’m just too tired to write it, and frothing at the mouth won’t power our businesses or homes.

In Wise About Waste: 150+ Ways to Help the Planet, I explain that by far the most effective electricity-saving things we can do as individual homeowners is to insulate our houses (cooler in summer, toasty in winter) and install a solar geyser (or try the cheapo version – lag your existing geyser by wrapping it up in a special blanket). But while this will have a most pleasing effect on your electricity bill while also taking a bit of pressure off the grid (and thus the planet, don’t forget), it doesn’t help us survive Eishkom’s current “we are finding new ways to screw up our one job” scenario.

My parents lived for decades on a smallholding where the power would go down for easily three days at a time. It was not unheard of for the Telkom line to go down too, ditto the wifi gizmo installed in the garden, often all at the same time. Or rather, the local cellphone masts would lose power, and then not even cellphones were any good. My folks actually had to keep a CB radio — remember those? — powered up in case of emergencies.)

How did they cope?

First (and at least fairly affordable), you will need torches (both heavy-duty and small penlights), batteries, candles and matches. Make sure you know where all these are, and that you can lay your hands on them at any given moment, including in the pitch darkness. One torch per family member is a good ratio. Most cell phones can also double up as torches, but you have to keep them charged, obviously. The best option I ever saw: a wind-up torch.

Next, I swear by my solar lantern (mine is plastic, not glass, so unbreakable and portable). Visit your camping shop for these, along with paraffin and similar lamps, also small wind-up gadgets like torches and radios. (Yes, it’s ironic that we need to go to expensive shops pitched at the recreational market for these supplies; also try hardware stories.)

Generally, it’s a good idea to cook on gas, but replacing your electric stove with a gas one requires a rather large lump of dosh (can we please bring back the rebates offered for doing this back in 2010?). You can get by with one small camping-style gas cooker. Keep it to hand, along with a kettle specially for using on it — coping with load-shedding requires many, many cups of tea. Speaking of which, invest in thermoses. I have five, and fill them all ahead of load-shedding. This meant that this morning (brace yourself for unspeakable virtue-signalling) I had hot water for tea, washing up, and even for my bucket bath. This doesn’t necessarily “save” electricity if you’re boiling all that water in an electric kettle first, but it does slightly ease Eishkom wear and tear on the nerves.

If you run a small hospitality business (such as a B&B, a deli), however, install a gas stove pronto. Tourists want their bacon and eggs piping hot.

Once again, it takes money, but for winter, install one of those super-efficient small wood-burning stoves that consume little wood and heat an entire house. Make sure it has the kind of flat top you can put a kettle or saucepan on. This means that in winter, you can have warm toes, soup AND hot chocolate without relying on electricity. Also consider the bright side – at least we have a climate that doesn’t require us to heat our homes in winter or freeze to death. Plus we can get by without air-con in summer, mostly.

If you’re using candles, paraffin lamps or stoves, or fires for light, heating, boiling water and cooking, take HUGE extra precautions to prevent fires. Make sure all your children understand the “fire rules” (teens can be amazingly blase about candles) and follow them (no naked flame may ever be left unattended, not for for one nanosecond; make sure you know how to put out a fire – a friend once threw a bag of flour onto a small pan fire, and burned down her entire kitchen in the process). Yes, you DO need a fire extinguisher in your home, and make sure you know where to find it in the dark.

Keep your fridges and freezers closed during load-shedding. I keep long-life milk out on the counter during power outages so I can have plenty of tea from my smug thermos without ever opening a fridge door. If you have a separate freezer, you can keep its contents going for days during power failures simply by keeping the lid shut and storing a few two-litre containers (I use milk bottles) three-quarters full of water in them (this tip courtesy of my Sainted Neighbours). You can also improvise a fridge with a cooler bag.

Cheap and simple solution to the dilemma of serving up a hot meal: cook a big pot of soup, rice, curry or stew and put it in a hot box (you can make your own with straw and an old sleeping bag – see Lord Google) ahead of a blackout. The food will stay hot (in fact it will continue gently cooking) for hours.

My heart bleeds for those trying to run small businesses or enterprises under these circumstances. As a freelancer, it maddens me not being unable to meet deadlines. Especially as international clients are often bewildered by my excuses for not replying to emails, submitting documents, scanning contracts, etc. No real advice here, other than keeping everything with a battery (laptops, tablets, phones) charged up.

Generators? As many Zimbabweans will tell you, these lead to thoughts of murder unless you live on a smallholding and have deaf neighbours. They’re also not a cheap or green substitute. Rather reserve for small (and large) businesses. I’ll be investing in portable storage batteries and inverters, but once again, it all takes money, and as usual the poor get the worst of it. *deep breath, averts impulse to rant*

Now for the REAL spend (although this is also the way of the future): roofing your house with solar panels and storing the power in huge batteries (“Tesla walls”). Yes, you will have to notify your municipality about these and have them checked the same way any electrical contractor has to register their work and pass a safety inspection. The city doesn’t want you burning down the neighbourhood or electrocuting your family. But if you’re thinking about building a house or doing major renovations, then budget for an off-grid building. One good thing (although I can’t understand why it’s taking so long) is that the technology will improve at the same time as the costs come down, so this will become less cumbersome and more affordable as time passes. Imagine the pleasure of being independent of Eishkom, captain of your own fate.

And now for something happy. No power? Ditch the telly and have a good old-fashioned family evening in. Play cards (maybe not poker: too easy to cheat in the dark) and other games. Get a wind-up radio and dance. Have a sing-along. OK, too Kumbaya? In which case, get out that solar lantern (or my next best thing, a little battery-powered reading light that clips onto a book) and read, read, read. Daytime blackouts? Local writer Nerine Dorman has invested in a beautiful fountain pen, and when the power is down, she handwrites letters to friends. Knit, crochet, do the mending. At least you’re doing something more constructive than tearing your hair. I save all the housework that doesn’t require electricity for load-shedding, and my kitchen is looking unusually pristine. THANKS, Eishkom (but I’d rather you did your job).
And to cheer us all: there are bebe francolins in my garden. Proof below